Monday, September 21, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
Need a foursome, umm maybe not.....
I ran into a situation last Friday where I wanted to get out and play on Saturday morning, but all of the guys I usually play with were unavailable to get out. The weather was supposed to be great so there is no way I was not going to get out and play. I work in a pretty big office so I figure there has to be someone who is available to play this weekend. I ask around and I get a lot of “no’s” and a couple of “I’d like to but I can’t maybe in a couple of weeks”. Well I need to play this weekend and I already had the tee time booked. So I have one more guy to ask we will call him “Steve”. I know Steve is somewhat athletic plays competitive tennis and is pretty good from what I hear. I occasionally hear him talking about golf and recently got into a conversation about golf with him and he seemed to know what he was talking about.
Steve said sure and took me up on my offer…. Great now I have a partner for Saturday!
Remember, I have never played with Steve before so I don’t know what to expect. He said hasn’t played much this year because of tennis and he has only played 4 rounds this year. He warns me "not real good, been shooting in the high 90's". I was kind of relieved I figured if he is in the 90's he can get the ball around the course at least so no big deal..... I think you know where this is going. He showed up with no golf shoes, a skeleton bag of clubs with two broken shafts stuck in his bag, about 8 Initech golf balls. He shot a VERY generous 61 on the front (more like 70-75 in you included drops, penalties, deciding he is just going to drop at the 150 marker in the middle of the FW, and picking up and saying... give me a 7) I will admit he shot a little better on the back he actually made a legit par and a legit bogey. On the 14th hole he hits one out of bounds deep into the woods; he has a worried look on his face. I say just hit another one, in a nervous/embarrassed voice he says “that’s alright; I didn’t realize I was running so low on balls”. Low???? Low has a different meaning for me, usually means only a few left….. HE WAS OUT OF BALLS!! I say to him “well I have some you can have don’t worry”. He says “Hey don’t give me any of your good ones” (yeah no kidding). So I give him a couple shag balls I had in my bag and he takes it right to the 150 marker and drops it in the fairway. His back 9 score on the card was a 52 (more like 60-65) When we tallied up his score it was 113 (eeerrr ... 130-140) and he says "man 113 that’s rough, at least I started coming around at the end" pheewhhhh!!! That was a lot more than I bargained for!
Three good things did come from this experience. 1.) I appreciate that he was willing to go and tee it up with me at last minutes notice 2.) It was nice to see someone who is struggling pick up his ball and not hold up play 3.) I learned that no matter how much golf balls cost I will never buy an Initech…
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Open Letter to my Putter
Hopefully this letter finds you doing well. It has been a few years now since we have had a good relationship and I am reaching out to you to extend an olive branch in hopes of rekindling the fond days of yesteryear.
We used to walk hand in hand on the putting green. We were a team, nobody could stop us. We were confident and fearless, we could handle any conditions. No matter if the greens were fast, slow, smooth, bumpy, wet, dried out, aerated, uphill, downhill, Bent, Bermuda or Poa Annua we knew the ball was going into the hole. Nothing got in our way; not a spike mark, old pitch mark or a poorly cut cup we were invincible.
Those days seem light years away; with each day that passes the memories grow fainter. I just want to what I did wrong? I have treated you well. I never have thrown or kicked you, I bought you’re a nice little hat to wear, I treated you with kid gloves and made sure you were kept in mint condition, I only grace your face with the sweetest feeling Urethane Elastomer cover golf balls, I have provided you with a place to stay in the high-end subdivision where the Driver lives, I just gave you a new grip, what else can I give you?
You have treated me like a putter scorned and your devastating revenge of the missed short putts; terrible lag putts and the dreaded 3 putts are tearing our relationship apart. I know I left you in the bag as I stepped away from the game for a few years but I promise there was nobody else.
Hopefully we can rekindle the flame of the days gone by. I am just asking for one more chance.
Sincerely,
Me and my 38 putts
Friday, August 14, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Where have all the grinder gone??
Where have all the grinders gone??
One of my pet peeves on a golf course is when a guy you are playing with “quits”. You know what I mean; he has had a few bad holes early and knows it’s probably going to be tough to post a good number and basically mails in the round. I find this so distracting and a bit disrespectful to the other guys in the group. Even if you think you are a mentally tough player it is pretty distracting to have a guy out there who is rushing through everything, not making a full effort on his swings. You know what happens, this guy doesn’t focus and hits bad tee shots, doesn’t watch where they go, spends 5 minutes trying to find it and it is a distraction.
What is even worse is when you are playing in a match; sometimes a small wager on the line but mostly bragging rights and your opponent starts off bad and packs it in. The reason they are doing this is so when the round is over and they have lost it doesn’t appear that they were playing there best game. I can’t stand this; maybe it is because I have been a grinder since I started playing golf. I think I was forced to be a grinder because I was never the best tee-to-green player but I usually was able to find a way to get the ball in the hole. No better feeling than turning 5 into a 4 by grinding. Its super easy to go out there and give up and go through the motions but if that’s the case then why are you even out there?
To be a grinder means to never give up on the shot, hole, round etc. I particularly like to think of grinding as something you do on a specific hole, I mean you could grind out a lot of holes in one round but hopefully you will mix in a few holes where you don’t have to grind.
Take this situation, you spay the ball to the right off the tee, now you have trees in the way no good shot at the green. You could be starring a bogey or double right in the face. Instead you find the opening that will allow you to put the ball in the best place to give you a chance at an up and down. You don’t take the hero shot that will cause you to make double or triple that’s not what a grinder does. A grinder plays every shot with full effort; they would hit that shot up near the green to allow them a chip and a chance to 1 putt for par. A grinder never quits, a grinder is a guy who’s scores is always a few strokes better than you thought it would be.
Grinders aren’t just your regular mid to high handicap golfers, a lot of grinders are low handicap golfer because they “know how to score”. Some pro golfers are grinders so its nothing to be ashamed of!! Padrig Harrington and Vijay Singh are world class grinders. Perhaps the best grinder in the world is Tiger Woods; even on his worst day of ball striking he can post a round under par because he will grind out every shot and knows how to get the ball in the hole.
This blog post goes out to honor all of the grinders who can put bad shots behind them and continue to work to get the ball in the hole.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Hey! That's my parking spot...move!
1. Non-Conference Schedule Golfer (Sand Bagger)- this is your typical “A” Golfer playing the ‘B” flight. His chances of competing in the “A” flight with the 1-3 handicappers are very slim so near the end of the season he gradually starts “sand bagging” his 6.4 handicap and works it up to a 10.1 just to make the cutoff line to qualify for the “B” Flight. Now this guy can go out and post a 75-77 any day of the week so going up against a bunch of 10+ handicappers he should win pretty easily. Most legitimate “B” flight golfers don’t stand a chance. So typically in the first round he will go out and shoot a 78 or 79 and be right at the top of the leader board. He is feeling good about himself knowing he has a good shot to win. Most guys at the club despise him knowing that all year long he played in the low handicapper’s skins game on Saturday mornings and faired pretty well. So second round of the tournament comes, the are a couple guys who shot around 80, needless to say that’s a pretty good tournament round for most “B” flight golfers. Most of them however can’t post back to back round like that so the scores start coming in 85, 86, 83, 88, etc… Well wouldn’t you know the Non-Conference Golfer shoots a smooth 77 to win the tournament by 7-10 stokes!! It is like in football when Alabama goes out and beats Louisiana-Monroe, nobody cares we all knew they were going to win. At the trophy ceremony they call his name, hardly anyone claps and he accepts the trophy and pro-shop certificates like he just went out and beat Tiger and Phil… These guys don’t make it for too long at one club before they know they aren’t welcome, then off to a new club they go.
2. Leave Me Alone it’s a Major Golfer – (This is where I would probably fall if I had to place myself, pretty pathetic) This is the golfer who waits all year for the club championship, about 2 – 3 weeks before the tournament he starts going out and putting in extra hours on his short game, hits the range a bit more than usual, some how thinks he can begin to “mentally prepare”. This guy is borderline loser/mental no matter how much he practices in those 2-3 weeks he is going to shoot the same score but he is still trying to “peak” for the championship. Then you have the actual tournament….. He has every brand new ball marked perfectly with his personal marking. He plays very methodical on the course (eerrr…SLOW), looks at putts from every angle and then has to take one more look. All of the sudden he now feels the need to carry a yardage book for a course he has play 500 times. What used to be a no-brainer 9-iron he has to walk it off and says I have 144 and a ½ to the front pin, hmmm, tosses some grass in the air, looks at the tree tops, grabs an 8 & 9 iron, looks back at the tree tops, for some reason looks back at the tee box, goes back to his bag grabs his PW and goes to his ball, now he backs out throws some more grass in the air and switches to the 9-iron before he finally hits the shot he has it over 500 times….. He is grinding, leaving no stone unturned, has his wet towel he takes to the green to make sure his ball is perfectly clean before he can grace it with his putter… You can even see the USGA rule book sticking out of his bag. Another thing He does is walk…. even though his bag is on the cart he walks by himself while his playing partner rides alone. He doesn’t want to talk to the guys in his group because that’s what Tiger does; beside this is “His” major….
3. The Old-Timer - These are the guys that every club has, they are like clock work. They go out and post the same scores they post all year consistent as ever, it’s because they don’t get all worked up for these tournament. The old-timers have been in so many club championships that they don’t get the jitters. They usually don’t win the championship but they are always in the money. You don’t see huge blow up holes from them. Same routine hit a couple balls on the range (maybe) whack a few putts and get to the first tee. They know they probably aren’t going to win so they don’t work themselves into a tizzy about it and they are able to play their regular game, beating guys who are better than them but can’t handle the pressure of their club championship… it happens everywhere.
4. Enron Guy – This is the guy who cooked the books all year by posting scores lower than he really shot so he could walk around saying he was a 2 handicap. Most of his rounds we by himself or his best round were at away courses with “some other guys”. He never played in any of the other tournaments throughout the year because he doesn’t want to shoot 82 in a tournament being a 2 handicap. Guys at the club aren’t really sure what to think about him because he doesn’t seem to want to play in the regular weekend games. He has been seen playing two shots in his casual rounds with 5 foot gimmes and playing winter rules all year round. Well round one of the tournament is “Handicap Accounting Auditing Time” it becomes very evident on the front nine that Enron is not a 2 handicap when he makes the turn at 44. The entire round is the same, way too many miss hits for a 2 handicap, more in-line with a 10. Bad short game, spraying the ball off the tee, finishes the back nine with a smooth 41 and post an 85 for the day, this puts him right near last place for the “A” flight. Most times Enron doesn’t even come back for the next round. Sometime he does and if he does he usually fairs about 2-3 strokes better and still finishes near last place. You usually won’t see them again until the club championship next year or sometimes they don’t come back at all.
Let me know if you run into other "that" guys at your club.....
PGA Championship Fantasy Draft
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Driving range thoughts...
Friday, August 7, 2009
Whats up with the "Chippers"
What is it with people who put a freaking “chipper” in their bag?
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
Club Championship Coming up.... August 15 & 16 2009
WEST PINES CHAMPIONSHIP
AUGUST 15TH & 16TH 2009
Deadline for entries will be Thursday, August 13th, 2009 at 5pm.
Format: Individual Stroke Play (36 Holes)
Flighted by Handicap Index (Prizes for Gross & Net in each flight)
The Overall Champion will be the player returning the lowest 36-Hole Gross score.
Tee Times: Starting Times begin at 9:00 am on Saturday & Sunday.
Entry Fee: $75.00 per person. Includes Green Fees, Cart Fee, Range Balls and Prizes.
www.westpinesgc.com 678-391-1600
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Golf Course Dictionary - Not your everyday vocab
You may have heard some of the words used one the golf course, espcially if you have ever played with me.
The Dictionary -
-B-
Bagger – someone who inflates their handicap, this is frowned upon
Beating it around – playing awful, hit bad shot after bad shot
Bingo – something that is said while someone’s put is halfway to the hole, the ball will never go in.
Boned – to blade or skull an iron shot, typically used in reference to a bad wedge shot
Bunt – usually a half swing knock down shot
-C-
Cannabis Wedge - putting from the approach (Roll it up)
Cow Pasture - a really crappy course, typically wide open and flat.
-D-
Dick out – when you don’t hit your tee shot past the ladies tees. (Supposed to play the rest of the hole with your dick out)
Dog Track – a really crappy course
Drop dime – hit an approach really close to the pin
Duck – Golf who thinks he is better than he is.
-F-
A Fragner - a tee shot on a par 3 that somehow ends up in a tiny, impossible to hit sand bunker
Flomax – someone who has to piss every other hole
-G-
Goat Track – a really crappy course
Golden Wedge – A trophy that is given to the low score for the day, it’s an old sand wedge from the 50’s spray painted gold
Good Weight – usually means good distance putting, can also be used with iron shots.
Grinder – someone who doesn’t hit a lot of fairways or greens but manages to make pars and usually post a good score
Grow hair - what you say to the ball when you putt it way too hard and want it to slow down
-H-
Hack – Some one who can play find there way around the course, ball doesn’t always get in the air
Hit a house – what you say to the ball when you putt it way too hard and has not chance of slowing down
-J-
The Juice – the yardage (i.e. “what’s the juice?”, “You got 147 to the flag”)
-M-
Maggert – Someone who steps right out of the car onto the 1st tee, no warm ups
Members bounce – lucky shot, typically bounces of a tree, rock or some foreign object and ends up in a good position.
Muni – Public course usually run by the city or town
-N-
Nassau - A bet that is 3 bets in one (Front, Back, Total) Also known as 2-2-2. Usually match play.
Nerd mark – the scuff on the top of your driver or 3 wood for popping up the ball
Nuzzle – scoot a shot right up to the hole
-R-
Range rat – someone who hits balls at the driving range for long periods of time
Reverse Bagger – someone who deflates their handicap for bragging purposes, this is laughed upon.
Right in the lumber yard - When someone hits it in a pond, can also be said when hit into the woods – (originally meant for the pond. - Caddy Shack)
Rosie Window -An opening (no larger than 6 square feet) that will leave the player with a perfect shot at the green. See also, unicorns.
-S-
Seve – someone who is playing from the other fairway all day.
Skank – close cousin to the shank
Smacking it around – playing awful, hit bad shot after bad shot
Spraying it – hitting the ball all over the course, typically a slice
A Stick – a really good player
Sticks – golf clubs
Stiff – hit it really close to the pin ( i.e. “Wow, you hit that stiff)
Sweeps – Generally two man best-ball, partners drawn blind
-T-
Texas Wedge – putting from the approach
Texas Whip Out – pay your bets on the 18th green
Three jack – 3 putting on a green
Three wiggle – 3 putting on a green
Touch em all – when someone air-mails the green with an approach shot , meant as in a home run hit out of the park.
Turfed it - when someone stubs the putter on the green while making a putting stroke, sometimes you can even turf a chip ( depends on who you are)
-U-
Uncle Dave – My arch rival. (You can have your own uncle; can be anyone – well except a girl)
-W-
Weapons – golf clubs
-Y-
Yack – hit a bad shot under pressure i.e. choke – “I yacked all over myself”
-
--- If you have some you would like to add leave them in the comments and I will add them...
Cheers, and no 3 putts!
Chris
Thursday, July 23, 2009
4 - Short Putt tips from a guy who can't putt
1. On a short putt, if you just aim and hit, you will end up with the ball in the hole most of the time. If you take a couple of practice swings and take two or three looks at it, you are more likely to miss
4. On a short putt make sure your ball reaches the hole. A lot of golfers tap their 3-4 foot putts because they don't want to go past the hole. Never up Never In.
Half Day then off to TPC Sugarloaf
I will follow up with an update on my round, hopefully I don't go out there and embarrass myself. I am hoping to shoot between 80-84, right now for me that would be respectable
I have been trying to get out and play more golf this year. it was jumped started by the 9 rounds I played while I was on vacation back home in Western New York.
Follow me on Twitter - http://twitter.com/portergolf
Keep on reading, and no 3 putts...