So it’s that time of year again. Most clubs are getting ready to have their club championships and it is a weird time of year. We all want that coveted parking spot, but really only a few will ever really have a chance at it.. You run into all types of people at club championship, especially if you home course is a public course. You can usually break the club championship golfers into 4 types. I will break them down for you.
1. Non-Conference Schedule Golfer (Sand Bagger)- this is your typical “A” Golfer playing the ‘B” flight. His chances of competing in the “A” flight with the 1-3 handicappers are very slim so near the end of the season he gradually starts “sand bagging” his 6.4 handicap and works it up to a 10.1 just to make the cutoff line to qualify for the “B” Flight. Now this guy can go out and post a 75-77 any day of the week so going up against a bunch of 10+ handicappers he should win pretty easily. Most legitimate “B” flight golfers don’t stand a chance. So typically in the first round he will go out and shoot a 78 or 79 and be right at the top of the leader board. He is feeling good about himself knowing he has a good shot to win. Most guys at the club despise him knowing that all year long he played in the low handicapper’s skins game on Saturday mornings and faired pretty well. So second round of the tournament comes, the are a couple guys who shot around 80, needless to say that’s a pretty good tournament round for most “B” flight golfers. Most of them however can’t post back to back round like that so the scores start coming in 85, 86, 83, 88, etc… Well wouldn’t you know the Non-Conference Golfer shoots a smooth 77 to win the tournament by 7-10 stokes!! It is like in football when Alabama goes out and beats Louisiana-Monroe, nobody cares we all knew they were going to win. At the trophy ceremony they call his name, hardly anyone claps and he accepts the trophy and pro-shop certificates like he just went out and beat Tiger and Phil… These guys don’t make it for too long at one club before they know they aren’t welcome, then off to a new club they go.
2. Leave Me Alone it’s a Major Golfer – (This is where I would probably fall if I had to place myself, pretty pathetic) This is the golfer who waits all year for the club championship, about 2 – 3 weeks before the tournament he starts going out and putting in extra hours on his short game, hits the range a bit more than usual, some how thinks he can begin to “mentally prepare”. This guy is borderline loser/mental no matter how much he practices in those 2-3 weeks he is going to shoot the same score but he is still trying to “peak” for the championship. Then you have the actual tournament….. He has every brand new ball marked perfectly with his personal marking. He plays very methodical on the course (eerrr…SLOW), looks at putts from every angle and then has to take one more look. All of the sudden he now feels the need to carry a yardage book for a course he has play 500 times. What used to be a no-brainer 9-iron he has to walk it off and says I have 144 and a ½ to the front pin, hmmm, tosses some grass in the air, looks at the tree tops, grabs an 8 & 9 iron, looks back at the tree tops, for some reason looks back at the tee box, goes back to his bag grabs his PW and goes to his ball, now he backs out throws some more grass in the air and switches to the 9-iron before he finally hits the shot he has it over 500 times….. He is grinding, leaving no stone unturned, has his wet towel he takes to the green to make sure his ball is perfectly clean before he can grace it with his putter… You can even see the USGA rule book sticking out of his bag. Another thing He does is walk…. even though his bag is on the cart he walks by himself while his playing partner rides alone. He doesn’t want to talk to the guys in his group because that’s what Tiger does; beside this is “His” major….
3. The Old-Timer - These are the guys that every club has, they are like clock work. They go out and post the same scores they post all year consistent as ever, it’s because they don’t get all worked up for these tournament. The old-timers have been in so many club championships that they don’t get the jitters. They usually don’t win the championship but they are always in the money. You don’t see huge blow up holes from them. Same routine hit a couple balls on the range (maybe) whack a few putts and get to the first tee. They know they probably aren’t going to win so they don’t work themselves into a tizzy about it and they are able to play their regular game, beating guys who are better than them but can’t handle the pressure of their club championship… it happens everywhere.
4. Enron Guy – This is the guy who cooked the books all year by posting scores lower than he really shot so he could walk around saying he was a 2 handicap. Most of his rounds we by himself or his best round were at away courses with “some other guys”. He never played in any of the other tournaments throughout the year because he doesn’t want to shoot 82 in a tournament being a 2 handicap. Guys at the club aren’t really sure what to think about him because he doesn’t seem to want to play in the regular weekend games. He has been seen playing two shots in his casual rounds with 5 foot gimmes and playing winter rules all year round. Well round one of the tournament is “Handicap Accounting Auditing Time” it becomes very evident on the front nine that Enron is not a 2 handicap when he makes the turn at 44. The entire round is the same, way too many miss hits for a 2 handicap, more in-line with a 10. Bad short game, spraying the ball off the tee, finishes the back nine with a smooth 41 and post an 85 for the day, this puts him right near last place for the “A” flight. Most times Enron doesn’t even come back for the next round. Sometime he does and if he does he usually fairs about 2-3 strokes better and still finishes near last place. You usually won’t see them again until the club championship next year or sometimes they don’t come back at all.
Let me know if you run into other "that" guys at your club.....
1. Non-Conference Schedule Golfer (Sand Bagger)- this is your typical “A” Golfer playing the ‘B” flight. His chances of competing in the “A” flight with the 1-3 handicappers are very slim so near the end of the season he gradually starts “sand bagging” his 6.4 handicap and works it up to a 10.1 just to make the cutoff line to qualify for the “B” Flight. Now this guy can go out and post a 75-77 any day of the week so going up against a bunch of 10+ handicappers he should win pretty easily. Most legitimate “B” flight golfers don’t stand a chance. So typically in the first round he will go out and shoot a 78 or 79 and be right at the top of the leader board. He is feeling good about himself knowing he has a good shot to win. Most guys at the club despise him knowing that all year long he played in the low handicapper’s skins game on Saturday mornings and faired pretty well. So second round of the tournament comes, the are a couple guys who shot around 80, needless to say that’s a pretty good tournament round for most “B” flight golfers. Most of them however can’t post back to back round like that so the scores start coming in 85, 86, 83, 88, etc… Well wouldn’t you know the Non-Conference Golfer shoots a smooth 77 to win the tournament by 7-10 stokes!! It is like in football when Alabama goes out and beats Louisiana-Monroe, nobody cares we all knew they were going to win. At the trophy ceremony they call his name, hardly anyone claps and he accepts the trophy and pro-shop certificates like he just went out and beat Tiger and Phil… These guys don’t make it for too long at one club before they know they aren’t welcome, then off to a new club they go.
2. Leave Me Alone it’s a Major Golfer – (This is where I would probably fall if I had to place myself, pretty pathetic) This is the golfer who waits all year for the club championship, about 2 – 3 weeks before the tournament he starts going out and putting in extra hours on his short game, hits the range a bit more than usual, some how thinks he can begin to “mentally prepare”. This guy is borderline loser/mental no matter how much he practices in those 2-3 weeks he is going to shoot the same score but he is still trying to “peak” for the championship. Then you have the actual tournament….. He has every brand new ball marked perfectly with his personal marking. He plays very methodical on the course (eerrr…SLOW), looks at putts from every angle and then has to take one more look. All of the sudden he now feels the need to carry a yardage book for a course he has play 500 times. What used to be a no-brainer 9-iron he has to walk it off and says I have 144 and a ½ to the front pin, hmmm, tosses some grass in the air, looks at the tree tops, grabs an 8 & 9 iron, looks back at the tree tops, for some reason looks back at the tee box, goes back to his bag grabs his PW and goes to his ball, now he backs out throws some more grass in the air and switches to the 9-iron before he finally hits the shot he has it over 500 times….. He is grinding, leaving no stone unturned, has his wet towel he takes to the green to make sure his ball is perfectly clean before he can grace it with his putter… You can even see the USGA rule book sticking out of his bag. Another thing He does is walk…. even though his bag is on the cart he walks by himself while his playing partner rides alone. He doesn’t want to talk to the guys in his group because that’s what Tiger does; beside this is “His” major….
3. The Old-Timer - These are the guys that every club has, they are like clock work. They go out and post the same scores they post all year consistent as ever, it’s because they don’t get all worked up for these tournament. The old-timers have been in so many club championships that they don’t get the jitters. They usually don’t win the championship but they are always in the money. You don’t see huge blow up holes from them. Same routine hit a couple balls on the range (maybe) whack a few putts and get to the first tee. They know they probably aren’t going to win so they don’t work themselves into a tizzy about it and they are able to play their regular game, beating guys who are better than them but can’t handle the pressure of their club championship… it happens everywhere.
4. Enron Guy – This is the guy who cooked the books all year by posting scores lower than he really shot so he could walk around saying he was a 2 handicap. Most of his rounds we by himself or his best round were at away courses with “some other guys”. He never played in any of the other tournaments throughout the year because he doesn’t want to shoot 82 in a tournament being a 2 handicap. Guys at the club aren’t really sure what to think about him because he doesn’t seem to want to play in the regular weekend games. He has been seen playing two shots in his casual rounds with 5 foot gimmes and playing winter rules all year round. Well round one of the tournament is “Handicap Accounting Auditing Time” it becomes very evident on the front nine that Enron is not a 2 handicap when he makes the turn at 44. The entire round is the same, way too many miss hits for a 2 handicap, more in-line with a 10. Bad short game, spraying the ball off the tee, finishes the back nine with a smooth 41 and post an 85 for the day, this puts him right near last place for the “A” flight. Most times Enron doesn’t even come back for the next round. Sometime he does and if he does he usually fairs about 2-3 strokes better and still finishes near last place. You usually won’t see them again until the club championship next year or sometimes they don’t come back at all.
Let me know if you run into other "that" guys at your club.....
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